Red Ramblings pt.1
jumbled thoughts: you are all i think about
How To Open Velcro Without It Making A Sound **LIFESAVING LIFEHACK***
Reblog to save a life.
Soldier 76
wow i didn’t hear the velcro at all
I get so damn attached to people too quick it ruins me in the end when we drift.
As someone who suffers from BPD, I can’t even begin to explain how our fear of abandonment differs severely than those w/o the disorder. This disease is shit. It’s hearing the slightest change in tone, seeing the most discreet change in posture, constantly and endlessly analyzing everyone to pick up on signs that indicate that they’re going to leave you. It’s replaying seemingly miniscule things in your head over and over and over that impact you so severely that it becomes a physical pain- oh, your friend is hanging out with someone else? Guess what, they hate you now, they’ve already replaced you, you’re gone and forgotten about, just like that. Our fear of abandonment is rarely subsided. Our fear of abandonment is the only thing we know won’t leave us. Our fear of abandonment is crippling and toxic and it festers inside of us until we lash out in pure RAGE, driven by those formerly repressed emotions, and push the ones we want to stay away from us. We fear our own fear of abandonment. I am tired of being this way. I am tired of having this disorder.
sometimes I forget that normal ppl™ don’t have 5 mood changes a day and don’t randomly want to punch a wall
My biggest problem is that I don’t know when I’m being used or when it’s just my obsessive paranoia